ADHD is not just a childhood diagnosis. It can wreck havoc on intimate relationships when it is undiagnosed and working against the partner's building trust, consistency and followthrough. The non-ADHD partner may feel like the parent to the ADHD partner and the ADHD partner is always seen as the "fun parent" (adding salt to the wounds of the non-ADHD partner who would like to be "fun" but feels they are the one making sure none of the balls get dropped.)
Does your partner forget a lot, lose important things like wallets, purses, and car keys? Do they lose track of time and are consistently late even thought they promise not to be and genuinely feel bad about letting you down again? Undiagnosed ADHD may be playing a part in the negative patterns between you and your partner. If these issues sound familiar, it may be time to get professional intervention to aid in getting a diagnosis, and help make decisions on what strategies may be right for you.